Blog #2 Having the Last Name Seaman

Looking at my profile title, I realize that my last name is something worth mentioning. Have any of you Smiths or Johnsons out there ever wondered what it's like being a Seaman? No, I'm not suggesting you join the navy, I'm simply noting that growing up with a name like Seaman can be trying for a young child.

I remember the day clearly...5th grade... sexual education...when a man ejaculates his se...an entire class turns to me and laughs. Was I traumatized though? I can honestly say no. Luckily, I have very caring parents who made me aware this day would come long before the school system was to thrust this information on pre-adolecents. Seriously, my parents braved the akwardness and checked books out from the library and taught me and my brother ahead of time. Because of this I was able to look back at my classmates and smile as I proudly rose my arms in appreciation of my last name, and that glorius day was mine, and mine alone.

For years to come I endured comments relating to my name, and more often than not in high school was referred to simply as Seaman. Only on a few occations did the phrase bother me, as a new hardass student came to our school and decided my name was to be cum in his eyes. Forunately, I get the last laugh, as (and I'm serious here) that kid ended up knocking up his high school girlfriend, never attended college, and eventually was arrested for a DWI or something along those lines. I think he's in prison as I write this. This one's for you Lemon!

In conclusion, I just hope this name doesn't hold me down in my adult pursuit of happiness. Ever watched Seinfeld? Ever seen the reasons those guys broke up with people? Here's a scenario:

Girl I Dated: I just got back from my date with Scott
Girl's Best Friend: How'd it go?
Girl I Dated: He was wonderful...best date I've ever been on, but I don't think I'm gonna return any of his calls...
Girl's Best Friend: I dont't get it, but you just said...
Girl I Dated: Look, his last name is Semen, and I'm a subserviant traditional girl, so when we get married I'll have to take his last name!
Girl's Best Friend: Ahhh, I see. Too bad your parents named you Jessabell.

Also, when I have my first daughter, and I name her, I just don't want to fuck that one up...Amanda? (A man da semen) Sharon? (Sharing semen) The list goes on and on. All I can say is that while I will never put my children through unnecessary harm, I actually think this last name is a blessing in disguise, as it has certainly built character in many a Seaman.