Time for Reflection

So, as everybody else I know seems to be baking cookies and singing Christmas carols I am sitting in my apartment alone cleaning the kitchen and doing my long overdue laundry. There really isn't a great distance between myself and my family, let alone a fued or awkwardness that prevents me from heading home. Really, I just enjoy the time here to myself.

I'm quickly beginning to realize that this explanation is in deed not adequate for everyone, but it is invariably a part of who I am. I will head to Adrian tomorrow afternoon and see both my parents mind you, but tonight in particular is not exactly all that exciting from my point of view. I remember fondly the nights as a young child when I tried to urge myself into slumber on the night of the 24th, as sleep was somewhat of a time machine in which the future arrived right in front of your eyes as I, well, simply opened them. No matter how hard I tried I never could come to a complete sleep though, as I was seemingly in a constant waking dream in which I (this is a true story, I'm not just writing this) remember Santa and even some elves making their way into my room in attempts to conjure some form of rest, but it was of no use. I'm sure every young child also had some form of compromise to make with their parents at this young age, as the question was always when will they awaken, when is the appropriate time to shake them from their sleep, or perhaps had I ever been able to sleep, when would they venture to my room to wake me? Those were exciting times for any child, myself especially. However, those days came to an end...

So, it was really my parents eating those cookies and drinking that milk? I was shocked, and partly amazed, amazed that mainstream America was able to keep this myth alive in children's heads despite the nearly infinite possibilities for the secret to leak, whether from a more "mature" 5th grader or a sitcom in which the existence of Santa is questioned throughout (which I surprisingly dont remember all these shows when I was young, yet now, I see them all the time, you know the ones, where the whole episode Santa is claimed to be fake then at the end when the uncle or whoever is supposed to show up someone else entirely does in a Santa suit, then when the uncle shows up everyone looks to the sky to catch a glimpse of some unidentified flying object crossing the night sky).

Now I understand the criticism that will be raised by this piece, one that the purpose of Christmas isn't to keep little kids amazed by mysterious presents appearing under a tree, but rather by the way in which it brings families together to perform time honored traditions and the like. I understand this, and I value this. But really, I guess the whole point is that I can see my parents any time, and I really don't put much (if any) stock in the whole birth of Jesus Christ part of the story, so what really is left but gifts and great cooking. The gifts are nice I suppose, and I like the cooking too, but do I really need an excuse in the form of a holiday to share these things with my family? My answer is no.

To be honest, I likely would be home today, as I have been every other year in my life, except that I didn't know until very recently whether or not I would have to work today, and I already made plans with the family to make this a Christmas day only activity, so it's all good with everyone involved I presume.

This day here alone with no work or anything to do has truly been a blessing as well. The human race is constantly predisposed to seek out company and comfort and sometimes it is equally as honorable to seek quality time alone with one's self. Such a day allows me the ability to give my undivided attention to my thoughts, and I try my best to be a deep thinker. I have spent some of the day watching movies as I washed clothes and dishes alike, and I also picked up my book on the universe for a little while to add some educational value to my deep thoughts.

I love being here alone at times. I can walk the apartment completely naked with no fears of anyone seeing, if I so desired (I'd never do that, would I?). I can dance like nobody's watching. I can let the place get as messy as I want and nobody can judge me. I can sing out loud. It is a refreshing way to spend a splendid day.

So, basically, I am happy that everybody that wishes to be is with their families and enjoying their time whereever they may be, and I say Merry Christmas (and happy Chanukah too). I will join you all tomorrow afternoon. For myself, I choose today to celebrate something I hold very dear and close to my heart, freedom, and the ability to reflect. If you don't mind now I'm going to go make funny faces in front of the mirror, because I can guarantee that nobody's watching, and there is no easier way to truly reflect.