Get Ferg Back to UM

Sean Ferguson made his triumphant return to Ann Arbor this past weekend, and as it turns out, there may still be more Ferg to come.

Ferg was in town for Dave Haglund’s wedding to his long time girl friend and an excellent cook, Lisa, a girl nice enough to bake cookies for Mike’s house if you asked her to do so while drunk. Mike and I, both of whom have also known Dave all four years here at Michigan, were oddly not invited to the wedding. I’m not complaining, but Mike being absent was especially strange because he lived with him last year, and I think every other roommate got invited. I can only imagine that Mike’s uncanny similarity to American Pie character Stifler in regards to his caveman approach to life may have caused a scare in the couple’s decision to nix him. Alas, they didn’t watch American Wedding to the end, as Stifler turned out to be the hero, and he got to bang a really fucking hot girl. Sorry Mike.

Anyway, so Ferg was not only invited to this wedding, but he got to bring “and date.” The date was this girl he went to high school with named Amanda that he hadn’t seen in a really long time, and she was pretty cool. Somehow she was totally comfortable around Mike, Sean, and I while we were doing our guy things (for example, Mike’s retribution for a comment I made was pulling down his pants and trying to sit his bare ass on my face) and saying completely obscene things. Friday night was fun as we headed out to Dom’s and got pretty plastered before ending the night a little prematurely at BDub’s, but hey, we were out for 5 hours either way you look at it.

The whole point of this tale is that having Ferg come back always make me think of the way things could be, how having the holy trinity back together is just so amusing and natural. Apparently Mike and I weren’t the only ones to think this as Ferg promptly called Mike up upon returning home to tell him that coming this past weekend was a life changing experience. He realized how much he missed it back here and how much he really wanted, no needed, to come back. Despite massive debt and the other pressures of returning, Ferg is looking to do anything it takes to make a serious comeback to Ann Arbor, like I mean Michigan over Minnesota in 2003 style comeback. There are many obstacles ahead, however, and that’s where all of you can come in.

I’m attempting to create a new charity, the Get Ferg Back to UM foundation. Any contributions, whether monetary or conceptual, are welcome. Don’t you want Ferg back in Ann Arbor as badly as we do? Of course you do. Firstly, money is needed to pay off his old military debt and pay the criminal out of state fees Ferg will owe to return. Conceptual contributions can come in the form of ideas relating to investment, government programs, or living arrangements. We need your help. Don’t let Ferg become one of those kids from the commercials with the flies buzzing around their faces (yes, I stole that from Garden State), adopt him and bring him back to Michigan. Thank you for your continued support.