Putting life in rewind

Do you remember the last time somebody made fun of you and you wished that you could rewind time and give them the perfect comeback, the perfect remark that was only realized about 5 minutes later after careful deliberation? I've felt this way a few times in my life, but never has this fantasy ever crossed my mind as a possible reality. Lately though, I wouldnt be at all surprised if it did. My mind has quite simply become confused.

You may be wondering what the hell I'm talking about. Am I admitting that I'm going crazy here? Not at all. I have one word to explain to you the cause of my recent mental lapses: TiVo. TiVo you ask? Let me explain.

I believe that I have mentioned my favorite features of TiVo on this blog before, but there is one in particular that stands out to me - the ability to rewind and rewatch (even in slow motion) live TV while using the TiVo. This feature has made the instant replay in sports a thing of beauty, as every play is capable of such exquisite control. Equally as humorous is the constant rewinding of funny scenes in a show or movie. The list of positives goes on and on. Sooner or later I began ignoring about 50% of what was on TV, often relying on a replay to pick up important lines and the like. I never expected what happened to me next...

Soon I would find myself watching TV at somebody else's house and a replayable moment would come on and I would begin to reach for that magic remote...but alas, it was not there. This didn't seem so strange, it was just reflex. Then came the day I was heading to work and a funny clip was played on the morning radio show I was listening to, and again, I subconsciously wanted to reach for that remote. This was when I began to feel a little strange. Had my life become overrun with...rerun? The real kicker came one day at work. I looked out to the sidewalk and saw this kid with a mohawk of sorts walking with about the same confidence of Michael Moore (if you've ever seen him walk you may understand what I mean) and something about the entire scene made me chuckle. I turned to a co-worker after his trot past the store had already transpired with the intent of pointing this strange kid out. Right before I opened my mouth I realized that he was already gone...I had intended to show the replay to her all along. Maybe I was crazy. Is this affliction common to people who use TiVo as much as I do? This concept troubled me...but only a little.

I suppose the day when I intentionally sleep in past the start of work with the hopes of rewinding will be the day I worry. As for now, I just take all of this as a sign that I love my TiVo. You can take a lot of things from me and I will go on unabated, but don't dare think of harming my beloved DVR. If you plan to mock me for my affection of TiVo please beware, for the prefect comeback is only a push away...