Every Girl Needs Some Seaman

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Response to mystery comment

In response to my "mystery" (I'm pretty sure I know who you are, your last line gives away too much) commenter, I don't really disagree with much of anything you said to be perfectly honest. I do have to counter by stating that obviously my rant isn't meant to be taken as gospel; the ideas I mentioned were never intended to relate to how someone should act 100% of the time, nor to my current situation in all cases. I would be a gross hypocrite if I claimed that I never make fun of people for a laugh or used my previous mishaps to peak someone's attention. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I think that true friendship goes much deeper. I certainly have friends that my relationship has never gone further than getting drunk with them, thus I would never dream of complimenting them or putting my life on hold to address their problems. I'm just saying that all real friends reach a point where the other should step up to the plate and lend a supportive hand, and many just can't make that leap.

On the part where it's inferred that I can no longer take getting made fun of, that wasn't anywhere near where I was trying to go with any of this. I have endured far worse treatment than a good ribbing, and it hasn't bothered me yet. All I really meant is that for me personally being friends just doesn't have to be all negative all the time.

In terms of giving appreciation, I was merely trying to relate how being too nice can easily lead to a situation where somebody feels like they have gained control of a situation. When this occurs appreciation can become more like expectation, which is a selfish way to treat a friend. Also, I am in no way expecting people to come up to me and tell me they care, I'm saying as a general rule you can really make someone's day if you let them know what they probably already believe. I take Valentine's Day for example. As much as people want to say that they don't need the reassurance of some gift card holiday, it feels better to be recognized than ignored when the opportunity arrises. Basically, everybody can feel good when something nice is said, and usually everybody but one can when something mean is said. The math isn't difficult.

As far as the part of being a great guy, that wasn't written to infer that I'm secretly in love with the girls that would tell me that like Brian is, but moreso to express the frustration of people who find themselves in such situations all the time. It's like a form of jealousy - some people look at the particular person or thing and want it badly, others feel the pain of why can't that be me? My point was more focused on the latter, how playing it nice and safe often keeps me from going after what I want.

Side note - most things I wrote about could apply to both male and female friends, but obviously many parts of the blog referred to the difficulties in earning anything but "non-naked seeing" friend points from girls.

Anyway, I think anyone that knows me knows that in general I just wish everybody could get along. That may be the best message I can give. I know I can't change the world, nor even a single person. I just hope somebody reads this and thinks to themselves that they have good friends and that it'd be nice to let that be known because I know for a fact that something like that can be the highlight of an entire day or even week.

Alright, that's the end of all my bitching and emotional blogging for all time, hope you all took something from it. Also, very important to note, nobody that reads this should feel like they were being referred to at all, as nothing that inspired me to write this was caused by any ill will towards anyone who has ever revealed that they are a blog reader. Much of this actually came about from talking to my Mom about how to treat people and how I relate that to myself, so rest assured.

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