What if...

I was up watching Conan tonight and he made a joke about a 400 lb man attempting to walk across the United States in order to lose weight (the joke was that he was having difficulty as his path went from one Taco Bell to the next). This got me to thinking, what would keep a relatively healthy young man like myself from attempting a similar feat? While it would without question be one of the most trying experiences of any person's life with the limited money that I have, it would also without question be the most exhilarating journey imaginable. If I were to ever gain the guts to do such a thing, I would certainly try and follow a few basic guidelines to keep safe and add meaning to what I would be trying to do.

1) Find a charity to sponsor to gain people's support
I certainly wouldn't plan on sleeping on park benches the whole time, so some form of hook to get the attention of random people would be a must. I would pick a foundation, bring some forms with me, and have people pledge a percentage of a cent to as much as a dollar for every mile I walked. This method would certainly gain me access to many homes and people's hearts along the way.

2) Use the internet to your advantage
In trying to figure out how to gain these people's trust I just mentioned I guess I would have to prove to them that I'm really who I claim to be. The best way to do this would be to use the internet. Here's the plan: try as best as possible to go from college town to college town each successive day. Have a website charting your progress, or even a media outlet (local news channel website for instance) mention your goal in an article, so people can be shown these sites in addition to picture ID and maybe even thefacebook.com. College towns are a must as they provide easy internet access, easy girls, risk free sleeping arrangements (couches), and the potential for students to anticipate your arrival. Imagine contacting a frat beforehand, showing up, and partying with them at no expense. Get on the internet and upload some pics of the day. Make your efforts known to popular college sites, and soon you will be an awaited and valuable property. (The more I write this down the more exciting and realistic it actually sounds)

3) Pack Light
Don't pack too much stuff, and never ever leave it anywhere that you don't 100% trust. Try to find lockers and other such things as you come across new towns and cities. Pack for the worst weather you would have to sleep through in case of emergencies. Try to plan the trip to head through areas with climates that are safe and semi-predictable. Head out in warmer months rather than colder. To make things fair, never cheat - no bikes, trains, or car rides. Have two pairs of tennis shoes, and nothing else for your feet. Buy some Dr. Sholls pads for sure.

4) Write down everything
In addition to the blog you should try to keep up with, you should keep most of what (and who) you do a secret and put it down on paper. This way you can someday go back to your notes and write a book or screenplay based on what you've done.

5) Do things you would have never thought you could
What would be the point of all this if you didn't let your hair down a little and take chances. When embarking on such an expedition it would seem valuable to lose all sense of embarassment in walking up to complete strangers and asking for help. Hell, it's almost unimaginable how many hot girls you could hook up with doing something like this if you just have the balls to make a move. Sell your body for money, there are no morals on the road!
Offer to do dishes in exchange for a meal. It would be a real lesson on the infinite roles that people play within our society.

So, I wrote this blog just to share with you all one of the kinds of things I wish I had the balls to do. I also wrote it in the hopes that whoever reads it thinks about doing something like this for at least just a minute, as such boldness is a dream to us all, even if we are hesitant to admit it to ourselves. Seriously, how much more respect would you have for yourself if you actually pulled something like this off? How much life experience could you fit into the weeks (months?) you would spend fending for your life day by day, getting exercise, pushing your body to the limits? How much weight could you lose? What kind of amazing shape would you be in by the conclusion? How great of a following could you achieve if you advertised yourself correctly? How many people could you help by raising money on the side? Alright, enough of these questions. I'm sure you can all think of your own to ponder. If you want, comment or as you all do IM me or mention to me in person what you would think if someone you knew actually attempted anything as bold and daring. I'll be eagerly awaiting any responses. Good night to you all.