Triumphant Return?

I have come back on here every few weeks or so promising to return to the regularity that I once enjoyed, however I have not yet managed to live up to the hype. Well, after a few consecutive weekends of ridiculously excessive spending I must say that I believe that the time will finally be available for me to squeeze a few entries in every week (aka I dont feel like spending the money to go out every other night until my finances recover). In the absence of the Brown Jug will be some of the entertaining stories that I have alluded to so many times in the past. Just by looking through a few recent posts I realize that I have all but guaranteed to touch on nearly being puked on and the Dollar Bill Christmas party. I still intend to do so, but won't tonight. Something happened much more recently that I feel that my loyal readers would be much more interested to hear (or should I say read?).

If you are especially disturbed by all things morbid or already know more than you want to about this story if you've already heard, try skipping ahead a little bit in the post. Otherwise, read on to learn more about the first dead body this author has ever seen without a coffin surrounding the corpse. Note: this description will leave out several of the details that people have thus far reacted quite negatively to, so if you need to know more you can always contact me on IM or by phone for a more detailed analysis.

I awoke at exactly 8:15 AM on Tuesday the 31st of January feeling particularly sore following the debacle that was my IM game from the previous evening. My phone began to ring within 5 seconds of my having turned off the alarm, an event that was rather interesting to me as it marked the second consecutive day that I received a phone call at the exact instant that I was crawling out of bed. Not surprisingly it was from work, a sign during the current drought of copying demand that my services were not to be needed. Turns out I was half right, there wasn't a whole lot to do at work, but my presense was still implied, as my manager Monica said I may still want to show up to witness the fact that there was a dead body located in the alley behind the shop.

I reminded Monica that a fellow co-worker, "The Ion," had started his vacation that morning and that I may be needed for back-up. She agreed and asked me to show up a little later, 10ish we eventually agreed on. She relayed some details and rather disturbing information regarding the body, but I'll either touch on that later or give what I leave out to anyone who's interested in inquiring further.

As I pulled into the parking structure directly behind my work place I could already see the vast stretches of yellow police tape fluttering all around the vicinity. The entire alley was blocked right up until the point where I would have to cross to get to the back door of the shop. Being later in the day I knew that I would have to park a little higher in the structure than usual, but on this day and with the sense of morbid facination I was entangled in I was all too willing. The reason? The aforementioned dead body had originated from one of these upper levels, a presumed 7 story back flip with a half twist into the solid concrete pool beneath. In other words, a student had jumped down nearly 70 or 80 feet to a quick and convincing death on the tiny one-way road running along the side of the structure, and only from one of these upper levels could anyone see the results.

If this offends you, sorry, I'm sure you've never slowed down to look at a car wreck. If you have, give me a break, hell, either way, I just wanted to see. Nobody walking by on the street could, as a small orange fence was placed around the crime scene, causing the entire event to look more like a quick construction job rather than a police investigation. The only way to see the aftermath was to look directly down, and there was only one place in the structure that I knew that I would get a clear view. I also knew that without the knowledge I had already been given over the phone, I wouldn't have known where that spot was.

For a little background on those reading this not familiar with the lot I'm referring to, once you get over maybe 2 levels on the side of the structure this all occurred you'd seem a fool to not take the elevator down, as each set of stairs is unjustifiably separated by about 30 feet of walking in a giant rectangle, making them nearly unusable. I got off on level 6 and headed right toward these stairs, but was forced to pass the elevator on the way. Making this act appear especially odd was the fact that two girls were already waiting and glanced at me oddly when it became obvious that I had chosen the stairs and a slow awkward decent. What I was really heading towards was the giant glass wall encompassing the stairs with a clear view below, what turned out to be a glance of no more than 2 seconds that I will likely not forget for some time.

So, cutting to the chase already as my bedtime approaches, what I saw did not truly disturb me, but rather surprised me, as both the scene of the crime and the results of such a fall were in many ways not what I had expected. Firstly, I was given prior information that the body was covered in a white sheet exposing only the arms and legs dangling out the sides. This is not what I saw. As three detectives leaned over the body during my ever so brief blink of a look, I saw not a white sheet, but instead the blank stare of a pale white face covered only by the chilly air surrounding him.

!ALERT! GRAPHIC CONTENT AHEAD

Everybody has asked me how bad it was or what he looked like, but to be quite honest it wasn't all that bad. The one aspect that immediately jumped out at me was the fact that both his mouth was ajar, and along with his nose spilling blood out onto the sidewalk on either side of his face. His hair was of medium length and seemed brownish. A slightly larger guy, not quite chubby, wearing what appeared to be a suit. Very little blood. Sprawled out as if ready to make a snow angel. He was not thrown or did not accidentally fall. Instantaneously I knew - he had faced the structure and allowed himself to free fall backwards. No other fall could explain the manner in which he lay exactly perpendicular to the building with limbs forming a star. The impact was received rather equally across his body, as he had very little trauma and more blood pooled around him from the internal bleeding coming from his mouth than the injuries to his midsection.

One second passed, then two, then I had seen enough, and walked to the other side of the structure to expediate my decent on the more logical staircase at the West side of the building. The image does not haunt me, but I will never forget.